As you read in my FIRST POST, I didn't think I'd be single, so obviously that stuff was easy to say! I am eating my words.
I am currently not online, but I have been and let me tell you....wow. Just wow. I know of many success stories. I know there are lots of good, solid people out there. I know that I have had the experiences I have had for a reason. I am learning so much about myself and what dating is like at this stage of life.
I thought online dating would go something like this:
1. connect online.
2. chat back and forth a bit.
3. meet for something low key.
4. see if there is a connection or not.
5. move forward with or without the person.
I will say that the above situation has happened. The sad part is that is hasn't happened often. I expected 1 or 2 crazy stories, but I have more than that.
My online dating experience has been more something like this:
1. connect online.
2. chat back and forth a bit.
3. exchange numbers.
4. Guy does something gross or sends a crazy picture or says something offensive (all major turn offs)
5. I tell him it looks like we're not a match
6. He reacts in an immature way.
7. I tell my friends and staff table about it.
8. I am a bit baffled at the personalities in the world.
9. I meet up with friends or family instead of having a date and am very happy to do so.
10. Guy contacts me again and acts like nothing happened and asks me out.
11. I decline and repeat step 7.
And sometimes it's just easy and there is no connection and no drama.
Let me start with one of the most extreme experiences I had. And please picture me laughing as I tell this because I laughed when it was actually happening. Part from shock that it was real and part from pure entertainment.
I connected with this guy online.Let's call him "Febreze". He reached out with a witty and cute message. We chatted a few times and we exchanged numbers. After a few correspondences, I let him know that I was going on a week long family vacation and would be out of touch and that I would contact him when I returned.
He texted once midweek asking how it was going. I saw the message hours later because I was down at the pool. I responded that it was going well and that I would contact him the next week when I got home and settled. I got a text a few days later, "are you home yet?". Again, I didn't see it for hours as I was away from my phone, enjoying vacation. I repeated my previous message and at this point started to feel annoyed.
I did not rush to text him upon my return. The next week I got a text that said, " I am done chasing one who lacks desire" accompanied by a naked photo of him with only a Febreze bottle covering his parts. This picture was sent to show me what I was missing out on. I wish I could publish it so you could see it, but picture a man's body, who obviously works out and perhaps uses steroids, posing for a picture where he is holding the Febreze in one hand, and giving the thumbs up with the other hand. (This pose meant one of two things. He set up a timer on his phone or someone took it for him. Both, equally bad. Sorry, I digress).
I will not publish the whole text string, but my highlights are included. I normally do not entertain stuff like this and just cut it off, but it was just too good and I was too entertained.
*note- We had never met. He did not know anything about me. Not my last name or place of employment or where I lived.
He managed to send one more naked photo standing at a side angle, covering up what needs to be covered. These types of photos are my kryptonite. No woman I know wants a photo like that in that type of situation. He wanted me to know all of the reasons I was missing out.
"Febreze" is quite the story. A few weeks later he sent me a winky face text. I asked him if he texted me in error. He said no. He wanted to forgive and forget and take me out for dinner. We had a great dinner together (KIDDING! NO! NEVER! EVER!).
Yes. That is real. And so is this unexpected single life at 40.
More to come.
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