My friends tease me that I will meet a guy and within days, it's nothing.
It's been many months since I last wrote of my Febreeze dating experience. I was so shocked by the private messages I got about that post by women who related. How do so many people have so many stories?
The truth is, I dated last spring, took all of the summer for myself and my kids and our adventures, then promised to put myself out there again at the start of the school year and it's been since October since my last date. One of the common things I hear through my single friends is that it goes in waves. In the 2 and 1/2 years I have been single, no dating experience has pulled me in to emotionally invest any more than the initial stages of dating. No one has come along and been a lasting connection for me. I truly believe it's because I am not yet ready for anything serious. I have had so much soul searching and adjusting of my own life and how I want to live it and I am enjoying this stage of my life for the first time.
However, the entertainment factor of dating does not go unnoticed for me. I am going to share a version of some of the highlights of my dates within the last year. Perhaps 2018 I will actually connect with someone. Perhaps not. The greatest part is that at one point I felt panicked about this aspect of my life and it was right when my marriage ended. I couldn't imagine life without my husband. I feared being a single woman. That fear is gone and I haven't felt concerned since then. I am soaking in all that I can in this part of my life. And boy, am I laughing a lot along the way.
Here we go!
Date A
Within 12 seconds of our greeting, he paid me a compliment and I paid him one back. He responded by winking and putting his pointer finger and his pinky to his tongue, then to his eyebrows like he was slicking his eyebrows. Can you see the motion? It's a joke move that he did seriously.
At dinner he proceeded to tell me he is a hepatitis C survivor, that he wants to settle down, and what he's looking for in a woman. Without me asking or even getting CLOSE to the subject, he shared his physical desires with a woman. As he was talking I literally motioned for the server to refill my cocktail.
*one date and done*
Date B:
This guy seemed to have it all together and I was very attracted to him. Our first date was so fun! A casual dinner followed by karaoke. He asked me out for a 2nd date and I accepted with ease. It was another fun date- just met for drinks. As he walked me to my car he asked if he could come home with me. In a kind way (and using my sense of humor) I let him know that would not be happening. He was fine and sweet as we said goodnight after some appropriate 2nd date flirting, etc.
No more than 5 minutes later, my phone BLEW UP that he was in disbelief that I wouldn't give him a "birthday present" by taking him home.That we are grown adults and why wouldn't we be intimate on the second date, ESPECIALLY when I knew his birthday was the next week and we wouldn't be seeing each other that week. He went on to text that we are not teenagers who need to wait so many dates or "so many bases". Basically, I owed him. It was unreal.
I responded to the text string with, " Looks like we are not a match. Good luck!"- which has become my go to response. He didn't appreciate that.
*two dates and done*
Date C
Talked about his estranged wife the WHOLE time. Wanted to tell me the whole story with every single detail.I didn't hear about him and he didn't ask about me.
* one date and done*
Date D
Shared that he was ordered to take anger management courses and is just finishing up.Need I say more?
* one date and done*
Date E
Met at Pleasure Point in Santa Cruz. Walked a bit and sat on a bench and chatted. Well, he droned on and I was in survivor mode to keep the conversation alive. He was cute, EXTREMELY wealthy (at one point he had to grab a sweatshirt and walked two houses up from the coast to his astounding beach home), and he was boring, boring, boring.
He invited me to his house to make me dinner for our second date. My friends tried to convince me to give him one more chance, but I just couldn't do it. Biyee!
* one date and done*
Date F
Had a breathalyzer he had to blow into to start his car. DUIs much?
*one date and done*
Date G
Met for drinks in the evening. Successful, great job, funny and easygoing, very easy on the eyes. Conversation went like this:
Joke, laugh, chat- he's great to the bartenders and kind to the people around us. He is attentive and complimentary and just all around fun.
after one drink...
Him: Hey, want to do a shot?
Me: Sure
Him: What do you want?
Me: Your call. I'm in
He orders Jaeger (yes, Jaeger), we take the shot
Me: Whoa! When was the last time I took a shot of Jaeger? College?
Him: I don't know about you but the last time I did was at 2:30 today.
Me; (chest burning from the damn booze) Haha! Wait, really?
Him: Yep!
Me: What was the occasion?
Him: Time for my daily visit to my favorite bar.
Me: Um, are you an alcoholic?
Him: Yep!
He proceeded to tell me that his drinking problem was why his marriage broke up- well, that and the 10 or so women he cheated with.
Yeah, I sobered up fast and told him it was nice to meet him.
*one date and done*
Date H
This date was one of the best (along with my first date ever, post marriage). It was at the Fox theater in Redwood City to see a Nasa astronaut speak about his year in space while shooting photos for National Geographic .It was fascinating! He wanted it to be a surprise but he told me ahead of time because his friends said he would blow it by taking me to something like that. Little did he know that it was RIGHT up my geeky alley. It was a great date- the perfect mix of goofiness and chivalry. A great guy but our differences were simply too large.It ended right when it should've with no hurt feelings.
* 7ish dates and done*
You're welcome for this edition of "The Unexpected Single Life (at 40)". Never a dull moment and all pure entertainment!
Please note that with some of these stories, my loved ones asked if I was safe. Before each date I send my friend his first and last name, picture, and where we are meeting. I text when I get home to let her know all is good. I haven't dated in months, but I am always as smart as I can be:)
Within 12 seconds of our greeting, he paid me a compliment and I paid him one back. He responded by winking and putting his pointer finger and his pinky to his tongue, then to his eyebrows like he was slicking his eyebrows. Can you see the motion? It's a joke move that he did seriously.
At dinner he proceeded to tell me he is a hepatitis C survivor, that he wants to settle down, and what he's looking for in a woman. Without me asking or even getting CLOSE to the subject, he shared his physical desires with a woman. As he was talking I literally motioned for the server to refill my cocktail.
*one date and done*
Date B:
This guy seemed to have it all together and I was very attracted to him. Our first date was so fun! A casual dinner followed by karaoke. He asked me out for a 2nd date and I accepted with ease. It was another fun date- just met for drinks. As he walked me to my car he asked if he could come home with me. In a kind way (and using my sense of humor) I let him know that would not be happening. He was fine and sweet as we said goodnight after some appropriate 2nd date flirting, etc.
No more than 5 minutes later, my phone BLEW UP that he was in disbelief that I wouldn't give him a "birthday present" by taking him home.That we are grown adults and why wouldn't we be intimate on the second date, ESPECIALLY when I knew his birthday was the next week and we wouldn't be seeing each other that week. He went on to text that we are not teenagers who need to wait so many dates or "so many bases". Basically, I owed him. It was unreal.
I responded to the text string with, " Looks like we are not a match. Good luck!"- which has become my go to response. He didn't appreciate that.
*two dates and done*
Date C
Talked about his estranged wife the WHOLE time. Wanted to tell me the whole story with every single detail.I didn't hear about him and he didn't ask about me.
* one date and done*
Date D
Shared that he was ordered to take anger management courses and is just finishing up.Need I say more?
* one date and done*
Date E
Met at Pleasure Point in Santa Cruz. Walked a bit and sat on a bench and chatted. Well, he droned on and I was in survivor mode to keep the conversation alive. He was cute, EXTREMELY wealthy (at one point he had to grab a sweatshirt and walked two houses up from the coast to his astounding beach home), and he was boring, boring, boring.
He invited me to his house to make me dinner for our second date. My friends tried to convince me to give him one more chance, but I just couldn't do it. Biyee!
* one date and done*
Date F
Had a breathalyzer he had to blow into to start his car. DUIs much?
*one date and done*
Date G
Met for drinks in the evening. Successful, great job, funny and easygoing, very easy on the eyes. Conversation went like this:
Joke, laugh, chat- he's great to the bartenders and kind to the people around us. He is attentive and complimentary and just all around fun.
after one drink...
Him: Hey, want to do a shot?
Me: Sure
Him: What do you want?
Me: Your call. I'm in
He orders Jaeger (yes, Jaeger), we take the shot
Me: Whoa! When was the last time I took a shot of Jaeger? College?
Him: I don't know about you but the last time I did was at 2:30 today.
Me; (chest burning from the damn booze) Haha! Wait, really?
Him: Yep!
Me: What was the occasion?
Him: Time for my daily visit to my favorite bar.
Me: Um, are you an alcoholic?
Him: Yep!
He proceeded to tell me that his drinking problem was why his marriage broke up- well, that and the 10 or so women he cheated with.
Yeah, I sobered up fast and told him it was nice to meet him.
*one date and done*
Date H
This date was one of the best (along with my first date ever, post marriage). It was at the Fox theater in Redwood City to see a Nasa astronaut speak about his year in space while shooting photos for National Geographic .It was fascinating! He wanted it to be a surprise but he told me ahead of time because his friends said he would blow it by taking me to something like that. Little did he know that it was RIGHT up my geeky alley. It was a great date- the perfect mix of goofiness and chivalry. A great guy but our differences were simply too large.It ended right when it should've with no hurt feelings.
* 7ish dates and done*
You're welcome for this edition of "The Unexpected Single Life (at 40)". Never a dull moment and all pure entertainment!
Please note that with some of these stories, my loved ones asked if I was safe. Before each date I send my friend his first and last name, picture, and where we are meeting. I text when I get home to let her know all is good. I haven't dated in months, but I am always as smart as I can be:)
